My Blog

23rd March 2007 - Friday

Wow! I’ve just made my life miserable. Isn’t it great?

Was suppose to do my magazine last night, but the war begins. Everyone started attacking Furball. My kor was standing in the middle. Keropok started talking non-stop. Even called my classmate and woke her up. Result = got scoldings from her and swollen eyes the next day. My classmate saw me and she was like, "Whoa, what happened to your eyes?" Guess I cried too much last night. Ended up woke up bit later (I even forgot to set my alarm) and saw the bus passed just in front of my eyes. My mind was totally blank this morning I didn’t see where i was walking. Didnt even notice cars passed by and nearly hit my ass off the road. Was like, 3-4cm away from the car and got cursing from the driver. Typical Malaysian drivers (sigh). Reached class, thank god i wasnt late but Leon taught us in Mandarin. Decided to skip it and went out.

I went to watch this Mr Bean movie with my friends during the Publication break time. It was suppose to be a funny movie. I really needed that. I need laughter. Humour. Get my mind off stuff. Why do i need to force myself to laugh. Just cause everyone in the cinema was laughing, guess i have to go along with it. I tried to watch the movie and stop thinking bout other stuff, but it keeps coming back. It’s been years i’ve gone thru depression like that ever since the Sri Andalas guy. It’s so hard to laugh. It’s so hard to stay focus. It’s so hard to forget. How i wish i can SCREAM as much i can in this blog. The whole time at the cinema, i felt more like crying instead of laughing. I got back as soon as posible and start to cry as much i want and gawd…it feels dam good… I wanna be alone. I dun need anyone to heal me. Let me be. I feel safer when i’m alone. And..i deserve it……..

22nd February 2007 - Thursday

The day i went Pulau Pangkor with my family. 9 of us. Me, mom, aunt, Linda & Ricky, Genie and Peter, Vincent & Clara. Linda came back last night and announced that they’re FINALLY getting married! They said they’ve been together for like, 17 years and this time, they’ll register and marry in Australia. It’ll be a small wedding party and all. Anyways, we moved out at 9am, where everyone was so blur (esp me) cos its like..SO EARLY. We arrived 12pm like dat and it took another hour to reach the bloody resort. The resort was like..4.5KM frm the main road and it looks scary..Like those haunted mansion kinda road, all small and turning here n there. I didnt see any street lights so i can imagine how DARK it is at night. When we reached there, it was like, WOW! The place is so Malaysian culture. I see batiks hanging on the wall instead of paintings. Very cutural. We went around to look for lunch. Not much choice. So we went to this place and its called NOODLE RESTAURANT. Guess wad, they don’t sell noodle. What they sell? ONLY chicken rice and duck rice. LOLX. We went swimming dat day. In the hotel pool =.=~ Thats HOW dirty the sea is. And besides, its salty. Urgh. I can somehow taste salty AND bitter. Gosh, dunno wad the heck is IN the water i managed to swallow a few gulps of sea water  ~_~. We went to the beach. Mom and aunt just sit there, watching us. then peter, genie and me went to play games. We went all around the hotel and use all the facilities dat we saw. Basketball, dart, table tennis, netball, gym, snooker and swimming. That nite, i was feelin exhausted. Its been so long i’ve play sports.. SO MANY sports in one day.