My Blog

27th July - Thursday

The day have finally come. The cultural presentation. We did rehearsal for many times and in the end, Marion fucked us up completely like shit. She was bombing us with facts and we coudn’t even answer. I don’t even dare to say anything because i was afraid she’d bomb me and i cant answer her question. She kept saying "I’m asking you, what’s your name and u answer me you wanna eat rojak. And later i ask you what you wanna eat, you tell me your name is xxx". What the hell. I told my boyfriend our presentation was like that so he said we’re not well prepared. That’s true too because i think my leader did most of the research. And maybe its not DETAIL enough to satisfy ‘marion’s desire’ (sigh) Then she kept saying bout what should be banned and not. We stood there for 1 whole hour and since i’m wearing heels, my leg hurts and my back hurts. She just kept asking us questions. My mind was like "STOP IT, YOU BITCH! I’M FUCKING TIRED AND I DON’T WANNA ANSWER ANYMORE!" And Mark looked cool as always even when he cut his hair! He looks so cute!!! And he looks like my boyfriend, especially the way Mark talks. He’s so cute. And he’s young and cool…(faint)

Anyway, cultural done, Advertising Principle to go. That would be next week. We are still NOT prepared yet. Haven’t edit the ad, havent do the powerpoint. God! I don’t even know how to use powerpoint! So DUH. I never use powerpoint before so i’m kinda blur. But i think it’s easy that’s what everyone says so… UHM…Right?

26^th July – Wednesday

I finally get to go in the Video Lab! It’s nothing much. CEH… I thought there’s a lot of stuff there but CEH… but anyway, I get to go in! Woo hoo!!! We had our Cultural meeting there. My leader booked that room. Smart of her. Muahahahahaha!!! The chairs are all with the rolls. So I get to go anywhere without walking. Just roll here and there. This is the purpose of the rolling chair. To go to another place without standing up and walking (for lazy people – me). I have one at home. But it’s for me to put my table fan. It’s so small and hard and it makes noises. So noisy. I have a ‘big’ butt, so I need at least a chair twice my size. I can’t even put my legs up. I want a chair when I can put my legs up and soft cushion. If I have that chair, I’d be there and won’t move. I’d play games there, eat there, and stick glue to my butt and the chair. Ahhh… so relaxing. Anyway, I guess everyone‘s having fun with the chair too (maybe except for a few people) that we forgot that we’re there for meeting. Our leader got pissed off and my goodness sake, it’s the 1^st time I see her angry. She was scolding someone. That someone was busy playing the chair (told you it was FUN) and it got outta control. Our leader can’t stand it anymore and shouted at the fella. Can’t blame her though. If I’m the leader, I’d be pissed off too. Maybe I’d even scold more stuff. And bet my blog will be full of censored words too. I remember very clearly she scolded ‘mother fucker’. It’s NOT unusual for me to hear it because I hear her say foul language nearly everyday. USED TO IT already. But when she scolds, it’s like a mother scolding a child. Reminds me of how my mom used to scold me. So ganas and scary (used to be scary when I was young, but now USED TO IT). She wanted my quotations. Well, here’s what Jackie gotta say: NEVER MAKE THE LEADER ANGRY. ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO SELDOM GETS ANGRY IN FRONT OF PEOPLE. (Remember to copy and paste it arr. Quotations from the famous ‘anger management’ Jackie. Chill laa dude.

Here comes the emotion part. I’m beginning to learn what group work is all about. So, about what I said the ‘I won’t be in the same group of them again’… well, I take back my words. There’ll be times when we get angry at someone, but hey, forgive and forget (not). Okok, maybe not forget. But honestly, some of my members are ok. One girl can really work. Just maybe like to ‘wait laa. Tomorrow laa. Next day laa.’ All we gotta do is push them. 5 of us. One is really good in computer effects. One is good in shooting (maybe abit shaky, but nobody’s perfect right?). One is damn good in thinking (creative). One is good is doing what we asked her to do (we are bullying her. Hehe…) and me, good in nothing. Good in scolding laa. (Sigh) as I said, I’m the worse leader. Oh well, what I can do now is make the whole presentation looks interesting and not boring. I’d use my presentation skills that all pinky taught us last term. She said I can present well. I used to have doubts but at least I gotta try something. I don’t wanna regret of not doing it. Think positive. That’s what my boyfriend always says to me. He’s been very supportive even though I always complain a lot nowadays. He’s such a sweetie. Just the right person I needed now. I love him so much (^_^)

23rd July – Sunday
We FINALLY went to Banting. Supposed to meet at 10am. I purposely went late. I arrived at 10:30am. Revenge. I’m gonna remember that till I get my full revenge. Nobody makes me really angry. I’ll think of another way. But this will be the last time I’m late. Time is getting short and I HAVE to work with them. I don’t wanna be a leader next time. Especially in this group… I don’t wanna be in the same group as them anymore. If it’s a final project, NO WAY! Anyway, we went there by ktm. Reached Klang already, we walked to the bus stand and got a Banting bus. I didn’t know how to get to Morib so I tried calling my friend. All doesn’t know how to get there. I didn’t know it was expensive (when someone’s poor, EVERYTHING seems expensive). It was RM3.20. Then we arrived Banting, we gotta change bus to Morib. It was such a long journey. The beach, not to say ugly and not to say pretty. I love beaches. As long as the water meets the land, I’m happy. My ex actually brought me Morib with his family before. But that time was he fetches me. Oh well… we arrived at 12 – 1pm. I saw a really cute puppy. A 1 month golden Labrador. It was so small and cute. So cute that I can just grab the head up with my hand. We went back around 4:30pm. Xxx’s friend fetches us and brought us to eat. We just sat there and that guy (CH) ordered. We had no idea what he ordered. He seems really nice and ok laa. We ate ‘lala’ (kerang), 1kg crab (I heard that), fried baby oyster with eggs (ochien), fish, fish ball soup. OMG!!! It was SOOO nice and fresh. It’s been very long since I last eaten very fresh seafood. And it was SOOO delicious and good! The ‘lala’ was really really good and big and the shell was big and hard. Ok, then there’s the pay part. Since he ordered such seafood, I was wondering how much the bill is. It came out RM113++… We wanted to pay him but he paid for us. So he treated us. It was over hundred and he actually paid for us! He’s really nice and helpful.
I wanted to go back by bus but they wanted to go by taxi. I was really broke by then. So all of them go by taxi, so I just follow. Like the choosing product time, they chose already, didn’t tell me. So this time, I’ll just let them be. I’m not acting as leader now. Let them do what ever they want… I’m tired of it. RM55 for a car. So we got 2 taxis. When I got back also, I don’t wanna tell mom. Scared she’ll complain more. Just walk home even though it’s already dark. (Sigh)

22nd July – Saturday

I’m supposed to have a group shooting for the Prin Ad thingy. I woke up at 8am. It was so early and what the hell, I waited till 11am. Still not a shadow come and I called one of my member what happened. And you know what she said? She said “Hah? You don’t know we changed time already arr? We changed to 12pm already mah. XXX didn’t tell you meh?” I was blurring and felt like an idiot. I was so fucking pissed off and wanted to go back. I left the scarf and went to cyber café. I was damn fucking angry and disappointed. For a moment, I really wanted to quit my group and do everything my own. I messaged my boyfriend and told him that. When I told him, I really felt like crying. It was so hard to NOT cry. Especially not in front of strangers. Can’t describe the feelings that time but it was really really bad and sad and hurt. I didn’t say anything when they come late for meetings. I didn’t say anything when they did something and didn’t tell me. I didn’t say anything when they decide something without discussing it with me first. I’ve been very patient with them and now this is the entire fuck I get from them? What the hell… I went and played maple. I was so angry that I ‘killed’ my character and kill the monsters like I kill people. Relieve all my angers at them. And when they finally online, all the sorries come and this laa, that laa. What’s done is done. I don’t even feel like talking to them. Just pretend I’m busy. I finally told them to at least shoot the night time at the café. But model’s busy. So I can’t blame them on this. But in the end, we did some shooting at the cafe. Our model’s a really pretty girl. I kinda admire her looks. She got the looks and body. Cool… anyway, we were shooting and there’s this guy asking if he can take pictures of us and him. So I just let him take. Then his friend came and took a picture with our model. Haha… that proves our model is really pretty. Cool… we chose the right person. To think of it, I think she’s the prettiest in my batch. Really ‘chun’. The singers at the café are nice too. They know we’re doing assignment there because we kept shooting them and they noticed. And what’s really really cool is that a guy actually proposed a girl there. He went up the stage and took the mic. I was actually wondering what’s he gonna sing. But instead of singing, he said “xxx, will you marry me?” OMG!!! It was sooooo romantic! We cheered for him. I shoot their pics and hopefully, maybe it’ll help in our project. Few minutes later, the guy gave the gal a big bunch or flower and I was HOPING they’d kiss. I wanna shoot the moment. But too bad, they didn’t. Later, the gal came and asked if we can send to her the part I shot their pics. Hehe… the food there’s pretty nice. And we celebrated one of my group’s bday. The singers even sang bday for her. It was ok and the singers are good. Good voice too.

21st July – Friday
Went to Klang with mom to see the condo. Mom’s supposed to give back the deposit to the tenant and look around the house. I saw the tiles at the master bedroom. My goodness! It was coming off. Like it’s been washed with ubat or something. It was pretty bad and the toilet’s leaking too. How the heck they use the house? Mom’s pretty upset about it. The first thing that comes into her head is money. Anyway, she asked and talked to the tenant, and she said it’s not their fault. Duh, she’s been staying there for a year and it’s not her fault? Mom asked for repair. The repairman said has to hack the toilet and change the tiles. It takes around 2thousand bucks. She was in shocked it was so much. We’re already having bit problem and now THIS?!? We went back at 8 – 9pm and dad’s been calling to ask when we’re coming back. All he knows is to rush people. What the heck. When we got back to Subang, we went somewhere to eat the so-called famous clay pot chicken rice. My parents argued on the way there. Mom, as usual would shout at dad. And dad would shout back. Both are so bloody stubborn and don’t wanna lose to each other, so they fight laa. Leaving me behind listening to them as usual. It was so embarrassing and other cars that passed by were like, watching them. I actually hid myself and lie down. (Sigh) it’s always the money problem. I’m starting to feel like ever since I come to college, all I brought home everyday is bad moods for everyone. They always complain, especially mom. EVERYDAY. She’s nagging me bout money every single day. Aunt who’s suppose to be the rich one, starts to complain too. I’m beginning to worry if I will graduate with my friends too. Told them to get the loan, mom doesn’t want. Dad doesn’t have the payment paper or something. (Sigh) I may wanna stop studying and start working. I’m more stress now and think a lot. Mom even shouts and cries in her sleep at night. All because of me… unfortunately for mom, I’m the stupid one and the most useless. I can’t do anything much to help. Unlike my other cousins…

20th July - Thursday (night)

I was checking my friendster as usual so i decided to add that sweet guy in my friendster. Saw him with a girl and the caption was written hoping to be with her or something like that. I was bit dissapointed but oh well… one thing that i mind was here he was, being so sweet and all, but he actually likes another girl. I really hate guys who cheat. For a moment, i felt he betrayed me with my trust. But what the heck, he’s not my boyfriend. So, why in the world i care? I dunno… He could’ve tell me he liked someone. And he don’t have to be so sweet and even writes poems for me. What is he trying to do? What actually happened between Jamie and him? In a way, i’m hurt. But what the heck. He’s just playing around. Let him play la. He wanna play the game, i join the game. As the saying goes, if you cant beat em, join em. So, dude, if you’re reading this, don’t feel sorry. You wanna continue and play, go ahead. But i’m telling you this, i hate cheaters.

20^th July – Thursday

That guy just wrote a poem for me. He’s so sweet…

Diamonds shine brightly just like a star,

But when I look into your eyes it tells me who you really are,

The water is clear as crystals can be,

Mei Ling you’re 1 in a million to me.

(Sigh) why does he have to be so nice and sweet? He’s such a romantic guy… if only my own boyfriend has bit of him. But then, nothing’s perfect. I can’t have everything in the world, can I? I’m tired of playing games. I just want a happy ending. Don’t I even deserve that? Am I still cursed to be alone forever? Who’s my hero? Who’s my knight in shining amour? When do I get to live happily ever after? Without crying and feel the pain of arguing with each other? To me, if you love someone, you won’t make her cry. He made me cry so many times. Doesn’t he know how hurt I am everytime we argue? Why is he enjoying hurting me with such hurtful words? WHY? (Sigh) But I still love him very much. I’ve never loved anyone so deep in my live after…

19th July – Wednesday

A stranger called me! I think it’s my friend. He was asking for ecstasy pills. He was saying something bout ah keong, so I just answer him I dunno that fella. He even asked me am I Mei ling and stay at subang or not, I denies it and hung up. He called again and said: Eh, kenapa tutup? Nanti saya cari awak tampar awak. I just said: “marila kalau lu berani. Marila!” Bloody idiot. Hey, if you’re that idiot who called me, don’t do it again! I warn you. I fucking hate stalkers and strangers who dun wanna tell their names. Fortunate for you, I didn’t report police. I can make YOU go to jail. I WILL DO THAT! YOU SEE THAT FUCKER? If I know who’s that fucker, he’s gonna be in dead shit. Idiots. Nothing to do izit? If nothing, go home and wash your house’s toilet laa! It’s as smelly as you!

17^th July – Monday

My ex’s birthday. He called me. I was surprised. So I met him after my computer class. Spent the whole day at sunway pyramid. He’s still keeping the keychain I gave him for his birthday when we were still together. The wrapper’s still there… it was like, when I was in form3… lets see… 4 years ago… omg! Anyway, he brought my other friend. So the three of us combine become twin tower. 2 tall guys and 1 short gal for the bridge. Haha… my friend looked so ‘lala’. And he changed. Not much. He still likes to bully me though. We played Daytona together, and they suck laa. I beat them for 4 rounds. Muahahahaha!!! Wanna fight with me?!? Sit and practice 10 years laa. But then later I kena badly from them laa. Kena bully back. It was so much fun. Later we went to eat at Kim Gary. I and my friend treated him. I saw Lex. Hehe… he still recognizes me. Rats… but this time I didn’t write comment on the paper. Just tick for the environment.  After dinner, the guys made me wear skirts. They never seen me in skirts before so they were bringing me from shops to shops and kept asking me to try on skirts. The shorter the better. But I didn’t laa. Always managed to find excuses. In the end, I didn’t try any skirts. Hehe… escape. Then my ex sent us back. He wanted a goodbye kiss. I dunno if he’s serious or not but I didn’t give him. My kisses are precious. Only for my beloved one. Hehe… But if it’s only a friend’s kiss, ok lorr. Because he’s acting a bit weird. He still cares a lot for me. (Sigh) I’m sorry it turns out that way. He’s not gonna read this but if I can, I wanna say I’m truly sorry. It’s my entire fault. I shouldn’t have done that…

15^th July – Saturday

I left at around 12pm. we went to klang parade to look for my friend’s present. I saw a shop. It looks like sell candies or cards or I dunno… it looks cute and like a gift shop. I asked my friend to follow me but she doesn’t want. So I was wondering why. As I got closer, I know why. It’s like ‘I need shop’. Selling condoms and sex stuff. It was so funny. It looks colorful though. Then we went and pick my other friend up and went to KLCC by ktm. It was my primary friend’s farewell party. Picit. Her nickname’s picit. She was a nice girl and a good friend. I remember she used to cheer me up when I was sad. I was terrified of thunders (and I still am, but now better bit) and I was at primary 6. She sat next to me that time. I was crying. She managed to calm me down and joked. I felt better. To me, that was really touching. I began to believe in friends. Although it’s just a few words but it worked. So when I heard her mom told us she’s goin to

Australia

to study psychologist, I think that suits her very well. She’s good in socializing. I know she’ll stay there and work there. Like my cousin. But oh well, as long as she’s happy, I’m happy for her too. Hope she do well in it. Hey Trina, if you’re reading this, don’t forget your friends in

Malaysia

. (Hehe… write something in my comment and testimonial laa)