My Blog

30th May - Tuesday

My friends saw my blog. She told me. I din know really got people go and read my blog. I wanna keep a blog to remind myself. That’s what blogs and diaries do, right? I know in future time, i’m gonna look at my stupid blog again and laugh to myself. My blog will be another side of me which i’ll never show it to my friends. My sad side. I saw the comment my friend wrote for me. It’s just a normal comment, but dunno somehow when i saw it, it’s kinda nice and warm feeling inside. Since 11years old, i’ve stopped believing in best friends. I don’t trust my friends completely. When i was 11 years old, back when i was still at klang primary school, i was very close to this indian girl(I’m closer to indians and malays. Dunno why)and i kinda told her my secrets. She went and tell the guru hal ehwal murid, i remember her name. Pn Kamsiah… I think…Erm… anyway, she called my parents and mom came. It was bout my family’s secret. I trusted my friend. She betrayed me. Now, I’m ok with her. but i did got into trouble for it. Now, i never hate her. Wat for.. It’s not worth it. Then later on, as i got to Form1, i got very close to a malay girl. She looks like me(that’s wat everyone says laa). And later on, Form2, my grades dropped and i went to different class. As me and that friend is different class, we got apart and i found a ‘replacement’. She was really nice and funny. A chinese girl. We were very close that time, but i don’t wanna have a best friend. She’s my close friend. We’d tell each other secrets and always hang out. We were in the same persatuan. And things start to change when we were in Form3. She became bz with the persatuan thing and i’m bz with my eng society. Her persatuan and the group of people are like gilakan power and jawatan. I was a tomboy and guys would bully me and mess my short hair. I din’t mind. I don’t get angry that easily. But i was kinda sad cos my close friend was ‘leaving’ me.I’m not that active in that persatuan anymore and she’s mixing with her friends. Form4. Changed class. Was in 4Stanum.with Accts,Add maths, chem and physics. There was more guys than girls in my class but i’m always the noisiest and always running around like i own the school. I became close to a chinese girl. She always merajuk but somehow, i always managed to pujuk her. Maybe cos she’d listen to me. and i’m not in the same persatuan as her. My persatuan are all always tak puas hati of something. It’s just a damn fucking jawatan. Why is it people always complain this and that. I heard she got a boyfriend now. Good for her. I’m actually happy for her. Although the guy’s not exactly her type.But oh well, as long as she’s happy. That’s when she was with me the whole time when i broke up with my ex. I was damn sad dat time. Really really liked that guy. But he treated me like shit. But i still like him. Till last year. when i met my boyfriend. I still like my ex, but my bf don’t mind. he said he’d helped me forget bout my ex. it took me 2 years to forget bout him. Somehow, when i think back bout my friends, i think that school friends are the best and the worst. I’m always so good to people, and they treat me like shit. Even now. Although they don’t feel it, cos they’re the one who treat me like shit. They’d call me and tease me. I don’t get angry la, But i got feelings too. I know what is sad and what is happy. How i treat my friends, i hope they’d do the same to me too. I have many friends, but i don’t have best friends. Best friends are so hard to look for. So if i do find 1, i’m gonna appreciate her/him. Right now, my close friend is my boyfriend. Haven’t find a best friend though. I think i’m cursed to be alone. No best friend and be alone. Whenever i get close to a person, he/she will leave me someday. I hope my boyfriend wont leave me alone….

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 30th, 2006 at 5:00 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.